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Posted on August 16, 2019 August 16, 2019

Surviving On Scraps

It’s been a month of deep exploration.

Who Am I?

What does, Who I Am, want?

Who does God know I can be?

What does Who I Am want, when I am at Full Potential?

Can I ever be at Full Potential?

It’s really been a few weeks of pure, honest to goodness neediness. I have been reaching outside myself for the feeling of acceptance. I have been reaching for the feelings of love and self-worth.

I realized today that I am always willing to give anyone the shirt off my back, the money in my pocket and the love and understanding in my heart. But today I am exhausted, drained and depleted. Today, I am my dad. Let me explain.

I wanted my dad, but not my dad, as I knew him. I wanted the dad that showed up for others. The kind man who listened and gave sage advice. The man who re-assured the injured and the frightened. The man who held the hand of the dying. I wanted the dad who I imagined rather than the dad who was so exhausted he fell asleep upon the couch each and every night.

I wanted the dad who I imagined and not the man who fled from conflict, leaving my mom so enraged that she took her pain out on me.

I see myself, as I attract those I admire, those that reflect to me the qualities of my dad. I want the side they share with others and instead, I get the depleted, distracted version who gave all the goodness away before coming home.

I saw my dad, the hero to so many, never more than to myself. My pride was full for the hero that came home drained and depleted, having used all his resources for the many.

When I got old enough to question him, he said, “You don’t need me, you never did.” That is and was the truth. I learned to be strong because my parent returned home, to his child, to his wife, drained and depleted with nothing left but to sleep or to hide in the single bathroom with a newspaper to determine his next project.

The lure, the temptation is to be needier than the others. But for me, the reality was to endure and to wait. To accept the scraps or starve. What a pun….. accept or starve.

I’m hungry, I’ve been starving for scraps my entire life.

How do I shift from waiting for scraps to reaching for the rainbow? Reaching for the gold at the end of the rainbow?

How do I know that the scraps are not all that’s left and without them there is naught?

Can I be content with scraps?

I love you, I was willing to wait. I was willing to race you to the car for the moments of adrenaline rush while racing to a call, moments & glimpses of you, dad.

I see this pattern being repeated again and again, small concessions, small changes, but repeating the pattern just the same.

Starving on scraps, hungry, needy, trying so hard,

Hoping for the attention,

Craving the Proof of my worth.

Do you see me?

I fill my loneliness with work,

I fill my cravings with food.

My body breaks, I’m starving on the scraps.

You taught me to be independent with fear,

You taught me to be abundant with fear,

You taught me to be needy with lack,

You taught me I am not worthy by coming home drained and depleted.

I taught you I can survive.

I’m starving for scraps.

I love you so much,

But the truth is, I love the you given to others.

I am last on the list and I want to be first.

Repeating the pattern and you were the first.

Robin is the founder of Spirit of the Lotus. She is a hands-on healer, medical intuitive, Shaman, Medium and Spiritually Guided Coach as well as being an Advanced Soul Coach(R), Adv. Past Life Coach(R) & Holographic Sound Healer. Spirit of the Lotus is in Columbia CT. Appointments can be made by calling 860-709-3903.

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Posted on August 2, 2019 August 2, 2019

Tapping Into Your Top Intuitive Gift

I just took this quick intuition quiz https://zk164.isrefer.com/go/IQ/Spirit from my friend Colette Baron-Reid. This quiz gives insight into your top intuitive gifts.

How can this help you in your life? When you develop your intuition, you can feel confident and trust yourself when it comes to answering life’s questions.

Even better, at the end of the quiz, Colette gives you a practical guide to help you take your intuition to the next level.

Take the quiz now , and watch the video. You’ll quickly see https://zk164.isrefer.com/go/IQ/Spirit why Colette’s work as an intuitive and Oracle Card expert has been featured on countless TV shows in her nearly 30-year career, including Dr. Phil, Oprah & Friends, and The Today Show.

Enjoy!

Robin

Founder of Spirit of the Lotus

860-709-3903

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Posted on July 31, 2019 August 2, 2019

Abuse, There Is No Excuse

There is no excuse for abuse. There is never a good reason for a parent, a family member, a member of the clergy or even an older friend of the family to abuse a child. I can’t stress that strongly enough and believe me I have tried, again and again.

When I was a kid, perhaps 8 or so, I was convinced by a boy, a teenager, to let him touch me. He promised I’d get to play more, he’d like me, I believed him. I was so young, honestly, I had no idea what he was even asking of me. He had his little brother stand guard, out in the woods. I knew, it wasn’t okay once it started. I was afraid. I didn’t know how to say, NO. Not enough to over power the convincing argument of the boy I thought was a friend. I was too young to understand.

What hurt me most…. what I carried with me and still carry with me, is the convincing argument that said if you tell anyone, they will know you’re bad. To this day, I remember being told so well, that I believed it. I held that event in confidence for almost my entire life.

Each day, I see clients and 8 out of 10 of them have been abused. All of them, coerced or convinced to believe it was their fault. They were bad. The parent wasn’t bad. The very person who was to be trusted, abused them.

Let me stop here, and say it again. There is no excuse for abuse. No good reason. No child, so badly behaved that they should be physically, mentally, emotionally or sexually abused. If you’ve been abused, let that sink in…. It is a sickness that allows a person to abuse someone of any age.

An abuser is a predator, practiced and convincing.

I’m not talking about a parent that punishes a child who isn’t listening. A parent afraid a child will wander too far and get snatched or run over. I’m talking abuse, there are times when the line here is crossed and punishment looks like a beating. That’s another issue…. that’s an anger issue.

I’m talking to you, the person whose parent or family member sexually abused them. The person who feels guilt for taking a small pleasure from the attention given, because they craved a parent’s love. The person who lives with believing they did something wrong…. Inappropriate and were convinced they were bad. Perhaps convinced they deserved to be abused. A predator can be disgustingly cruel and very convincing.

For me, because I’ve been there, I know how difficult it is. Holding a secret that’s like acid that tarnishes everything. A secret that instilled a fear so hateful and yet, so believable. How can an 8-year-old stand up to someone that truly wants to take advantage of them? How can a child who wants the acceptance of his or her parent not believe that they’re bad? They want to be loved, they want to be held, they want approval, they want someone to say, I love you.

How do you heal from abuse? By now much of the scarring is deep and hidden. Anger simmers just on the edge of eruption. Boundaries are non-existent because those you should have been able to trust, took advantage of your innocence. Sometimes feelings of shame tinge our life. Trust is difficult, sometimes non-existent. It can be seen in a posture, a need to please habit and even a complete fear. Or sometimes its seen as aggression the need to never be taken advantage of again.

However it may be for you, there is peace. There are happy mediums and boundaries to be learned. Finding the root of the fear, forgiving ourselves, forgiving our abusers (forgiveness is stopping the inner dialog of torture, self-inflicted, not ever saying the abuser or abuse is ok). You can admit, find the place that says, yes, I love/d my parent even while knowing accepting the parent was sick. I had to get to a safe place where I could say, I was not to blame for the sexual abuse, I was too young to understand what I was being asked to do, too innocent to fathom the consequences and too trusting of the boy old enough to know better, old enough to be convincing.

Finding a safe place to talk about abuse is imperative. Better than just talking about it is doing hands on healing to find where it lives in the body and bring it up and out so that it no longer weighs you down. Finding the skills to use your voice is Freedom. Abuse is a form of PTSD and my advanced training in PTSD brings a level of healing not seen for many that have lived thru and with Abuse. Please, if you’ve been abused or are being abused, get help. Your life may depend on it.

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Posted on July 29, 2019 July 29, 2019

Practice Seeing Miracles

Years ago, during a class, that was teaching an awesome healing modality a conversation was started. My mentor/teacher made a bold statement that Reiki doesn’t work anymore. She said it was no longer enough to really reach the depth of pain and suffering seen today. Much later, while reading a book about different healing modalities I was captured by a thought expressed by the author saying that people loved Reiki, paid thousands of dollars to learn the art of Reiki Healing. Then as more and more people got excited and spread the wisdom, a few became fearful. Thinking, if everyone teaches, if everyone becomes a practitioner, there will not be enough to go around. So, as I read, I thought to myself, wow, yes, that fear of not having enough to sustain ourselves, while doing what we love, is so very powerful, an issue felt by every business owner, every employee afraid to take the leap to independence.

That being said, perhaps what she really meant, was that the diluted version of Reiki being taught by some, isn’t as powerful as the Reiki once taught by the dedicated Reiki Master of Yesterday, taking their time, full attention with intention, practice and love. Why? Because with practice we learn and strengthen our abilities. With practice, with others, we see possibilities of depths of healing that may not be known. Our intention for health of another is powerful, no doubt, but if your vision of someone’s health is not as full as another’s vision does that cheat the client. For example, some may see the health of a quadriplegic to be a happy, smiling person in a wheel chair, who is loving life. That is a great place to be, if that person is starting from a place of “why me?” or a place of “I’ve gotten through so much and I’m happy with my life.” Yes, for some that is a great result of a healing regiment. In my experience, I have seen quadriplegics heal to a place they can finish marathons. So, for me, just smiling in a wheel chair may be just the start of healing. I’m not saying every person is able to get from survival to marathon runner. What I am saying is that a truly experienced healer knows just how spectacular the possibilities are.

Miracles are only miracles until they become common occurrences, then your miracle is my possibility or even probability.

Find the Reiki Master Teacher you really resonate with and learn, take the classes, ask the questions, but, please, don’t stop there. Keep going. Practice and keep learning, techniques, modalities. Get the treatment done to clear you and yours so that you’re clear enough to even see what is within another. Beyond the teaching is the experience, the background, the knowledge and compassion of your teachers and yourself. I am a Reiki Master Teacher and I love teaching. I open my space to all levels to practice and learn. I share my knowledge and invite others to share theirs. Most of all, I pray that I really encourage the best of my students and myself. There are amazing teachers out there, I am so grateful to the opportunities I’ve had to learn and to practice.

Robin is the founder of Spirit of the Lotus. She is a hands-on healer, medical intuitive, Shaman, Medium, Reiki Master Teacher and Spiritually Guided Coach as well as being an Advanced Soul Coach(R), Adv. Past Life Coach(R) & Holographic Sound Healer. Spirit of the Lotus is in Columbia CT. Appointments can be made by calling 860-709-3903.

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Posted on July 22, 2019 July 22, 2019

Remembering Grandma

Do you remember our grandmother’s generation? Mine was a heavy hacker from smoking. Knew everyone’s business, not just in the neighborhood but well beyond. Gossip was the topic of the day and it just had to be shared. I remember visiting, and being brought along to visit neighbors, sit with coffee, cigarettes being lit, right and left as each person, tried to one up the other….who had the worst health issue? They’d sometimes get so excited they’d talk over one another, voices raising to express the extreme nature of the need to be recognized. I sometimes sat in awe thinking, wow they are really proud of how bad they feel. It didn’t take long for me to wish I was anywhere than there.

I see it now, but not quite as bad. Sometimes I catch myself, as I sit with others, hearing the ills and issues being suffered. Now, if I know a quick fix, I’ll offer it. I can tell who wants to heal the issue and who really just wants the sympathy. We all have times where we crave a kind heart, attention and love.

How can we get the nurturing we need and not reinforce or strengthen the impairment? How do we gracefully accept the healing, accept the help, be grateful and move forward?

In my own healing process, I remember being asked….” What is the payoff?” At first, I was completely perplexed. What payoff? Well my payoff was time off from work. I ran my own business and worked several jobs, nights and weekends to remain a float. I would get sick when I couldn’t maintain the pace, when I was frustrated and felt alone and exhausted. I needed an excuse to stop, even for an hour. I would push until my body said “no more” and I would get sick. Literally, I broke, and could barely walk, the limp people see today is not even noticeable to me unless once again I go to extremes and out of balance.

How many times and how many ways do we remind our body that it doesn’t feel well, doesn’t work right or just “can’t” do something?

Thoughts are things, yes, that is a great book the original quit old, but it’s truel As a Shaman, I can remove old negative energies, entities but if the person wants them back, feels somehow stronger, more powerful or safer, they will draw that energy back to them, no questions asked.

Are you sick and tired of being sick and tired? I can help. In the meantime, take a moment to reflect, honestly, reflect on the payoff for keeping the pain you carry.

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Posted on July 8, 2019 July 8, 2019

Why Wait for a Dark Night?

Why do we wait so long before we reach out to get help? I’ve heard again and again that we wait until there’s a dark night of the soul. Until we can’t survive a moment longer without doing something. Change… yes, it’s inevitable.

How we change and when we change can be a choice. No, don’t roll your eyes, I know you’ve heard it before. I know, I’ve been there, and more times than I would like to admit. Yep, I resonate with the whole wounded healer thing.

I had excuses for the pain. I really did unload tractor trailer trucks of 50-pound steel drums, stacked above my head, by slamming them into my legs before they landed on the ground. One week my legs were so bruised and in so much pain that I rolled a kneeling pad into a denim apron to cushion the impact. I couldn’t stop working, I owned the business. I couldn’t hire someone, it wasn’t making money, yet. Even with family help, I broke. There was a legitimate reason for the pain in my body. But no matter how many doctors I saw, there was no solution, there was no diagnosis. I look back now and say, thank God.

Why? Because the physical pain I felt was the surface work. The real pain was hidden, emotional, old mixed with new. Roots that went deep and rarely if ever surfaced. They were hidden, ignored, buried and even if I’d known I wouldn’t have understood. Understanding took hindsight and a lot of work. Yes, it took many dark nights of the soul.

That’s why, when I found a safe place and began to heal, I did everything and wanted more.

There is an understanding in the Shamanic world….. we do the work, the heavy healing, the really deep dredging and unearthing of the pain and trauma, so that our clients, years later in our practice can think, “That’s easy”. Yes, every once in a while, I’m working with a client and they have such a breakthrough with a simple treatment and I think to myself…. “Wow, I wish mine had been so easy.” Then I think again and in hindsight I see my journey of learning.

So, again, I ask “Why wait for a dark night of the soul?”. Are you in pain? Are you frustrated with your life? Perhaps merely satisfied and not excited, wondering, is this all there is? Am I meant to do or be more? Are you getting nudged and just don’t know what it all means?

I’d love to sit down with you. Perhaps all you need is a little spiritual guidance, or an illumination to see your world a little clearer. I have regular office hours for one on one sessions and I’m always happy to take a moment to chat on the phone to see if the fits right. Reach out before the dark night or after it, if you’re in pain, confused, frustrated, I can help. To make an appointment call Robin 860-709-3903.

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Posted on July 3, 2019 July 8, 2019

Healing Circle-Spiritual Community

Have you ever been part of a great circle? A Community that supported one another and was always there when someone was in need?

I’ve been lucky to have been a part of a few amazing communities, first when I was young, because my dad was a volunteer fireman, I was part of the group of firemen and their families. I remember each man and his family as if they were my own…. because they were. They’d march in parades and fight fires, but they’d also put on new roofs and rescue teenagers when cars broke down. They never hesitated to be there for one another. They gave and they didn’t hesitate to ask for help when it was needed.

I’m part of a long-standing Reiki Circle. This circle was held at two other homes before it came here to Spirit of the Lotus for Monday night, Healing Circle.

A circle is more than a random get together, it’s a community. It’s about coming together, community, family, support, learning, practice, giving, receiving and sharing. It’s not about showing up only when your hurting, although there is no better time to show up. It’s about being there for anyone who needs help, love, and support as well as having an entire circle of people be there for you.

Each of us know that if we have real health issues, Reiki Circles, Healing Circles are a great stop gap to booking a one on one session. Believe me, I have my healers on speed dial and I’m not afraid to call.

That said, there is nothing better than a community of like-minded, spiritually guided healers that come together with one intention….

To support each other.

I’m shaking up the Monday night circle. Each week will be healing based but different modalities:

1^st Monday will be Sound Healing, bring your instruments. 6:30 – 8
2^nd Monday will be All Levels, beginner to advanced. 6:30-8:30
3^rd Monday will be Advanced Practitioners only. 6:30 – 8:30 ****by invitation. If your interested in joining the Advanced Group, please call me first and we’ll chat.
4^th Monday will be Sacred Fire and Drum Circle. 6:30 – 8

Cost: $20 per person.

NOTE: August will have 3rd Monday with Holistic Community Practitioners and a Sacred Fire & Drum Circle. No Charge in honor of the group.

Please join me and a core circle of healers that have been getting together for years. If you’re a beginner, see how being in a circle amplifies your strength, intuition and knowledge, if your advanced feel comfortable knowing your only being worked on by those with the highest of intention and vibration. Enjoy a fire or the sound of crystal bowls, share your favorite instrument and your voice, if you’re not ready to share, listen, absorb and join us for the fun of it.

For directions or to RSVP call or text Robin 860-709-3903

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Posted on June 28, 2019 June 28, 2019

More than Abundance, Life.

Focus on what is important to you. Everyday there is a caption on Facebook declaring the intention to attract abundance. Pictures of stacks Hundred-dollar bills side by side with statements reminding us that money doesn’t grow on trees. Do you remember that saying? Remember watching the movie The Secret? In my business networking group, we must have watched it 5 or 6 times and referred it again and again.

Thoughts are things.

Our thoughts create our reality.

I read the business books, did the networking and put in long hard hours at my industrial business. I did everything to create a successful business. Tried to be everything to everybody. We sold products, even tried adding other items to get people in the door so that they could see “What we sold and refer us to people who worked in factories, industrial businesses. We even sold Cell Phones, remember Nextel, and took FedEx packages for shipping.

Long story short, burn out started and I couldn’t do everything. The stress was high. The profits virtually non-existent. So, I invested in a Business Coach, Lorin Beller of Big Fish Nation, she has a coaching business that is worth investing your time and money. One year. I committed to one year of coaching and it changed my entire life. I got rid of everything that wasted time in the business. I got clear with my priorities. I designed the life of my dreams, first on paper, then in reality.

The result of a year of getting clear was the removal of 50% of the work and approximately 300% increase in sales. I hear you…. How? When it dawned on me that the guy who walked in wanting 1 box, didn’t know the size (no one ever knows the size, go figure.) Opted for the one that cost $3.00 or $5.00 and it took 30 minutes. Yep, let’s say I made $2.00 profit before overhead and my least paid employee cost me $18.00 an hour. You got it, that’s how you waste time and lose money. Thank God they weren’t all that way.

Focus. Focus on what’s Important.

If all you want is money, good luck to you.

However, if what you really want is financial security so that you can pay the mortgage, take that much needed vacation and perhaps send the kids to college that’s a whole different game.

I wanted my business to be extremely profitable so that I could

Afford to hire employees, that appreciated working and could be trusted.
Learn new things
Feel secure financially
Spend time with my family
Be healthy
Have a wonderful home
Take time off
See the world with my family

Again, I hear you. You’re right, money doesn’t buy happiness. But it sure does buy the vacation you’ve always dreamed of. It alleviates the fear around not being able to pay the monthly mortgage or car payment, health insurance payments, etc.

When we get focused the universe gets creative and the flood gates open to all that you’ve asked for.

What do you want? What does it feel like, look like, smell like? Can you taste it, perhaps Filet Mignon rather than Cheerios or Vegan Lasagna with Cashew Cream rather than a plain salad? Is your vision of the 2019 Range Rover rather than the 2001 Corolla with 300K in mileage.

Can you see your dream? Have you even taken the time to think about dreaming? Or are you in so much pain, “killing yourself” a little everyday at a job to pay the bills? Creating a living but not quite creating a LIFE?

Do you know what’s holding you back?

What fear is keeping you stuck?

I’d like to sit down with you and begin clearing the pain and frustration. Removing what’s on the surface so that you can go deeper. I’ve been there and it might be a simple step in the right direction, but, for me, personally, I was dying a little every day.

I knew there was more.

I wanted more…

But I needed help. I needed help from an experienced coach and good healers to:

Find a starting point
Clear emotional issues
Teach me how to nourish my body so it could heal
Heal my physical body
Show me what healthy looks like
Create my dream life

Are you ready to create your life, begin the journey of your Soul’s path? It would be an honor to work with you and help you find your health, wealth and true happiness.

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Posted on June 12, 2019 June 12, 2019

Who Do You Want To Be?

Are you living the life you dreamed of? Are you allowing yourself to be the best version of yourself, you can be? Truly? Or are you being the version of yourself that seems to please those around you? Loved ones, friends, co-workers? Assuming you can even tell what, they want you to be or how they want you to act. Do they even know? Do they know that if they truly wanted what was best for you, it would be best for them as well?

I know, it sounds like I’m talking around in circles, but what I know, for sure, is that when I allow myself to be open and honest, I am happier. I find myself allowing those around me to be their best version of themselves as well.

We all had the conversation at some point with parents wanting us to be the proverbial doctor, lawyer or some such genius. Go to school, go to college, be all you can be, right? But, what did you want? Did you want to back pack across Europe, go to Art School, become a greeter at Walmart? And our friends, loved ones, did they want you to be you or the version of the fantasy?

I remember the conversation, “you seem so miserable, so unhappy, why do you want to stay in a relationship that makes you so unhappy?” The reply was, “that’s your opinion”. True, it was my opinion. It was the opinion I came to after years of hearing complaints, being told I was wrong, I was too bold, too quiet, too successful, to loud, etc., etc. The real questions are:

Do you know who you are? Truly?
Who do you want to be?
What do you want to do?

I’ve been there. Are you there now? Would you like someone to talk to, to help you thru the transition and perhaps clean up and clear out the perpetual people pleaser that is no longer working for you but has truly become your go to reality?

Even more concerning to me, are you living a life that’s abusive? Are you being verbally and emotionally abused? Were you abused as a child and find yourself drawn to or attracting the same type of relationship, perhaps so much so that you begin believing there is something wrong with you?

Rant alert….No one ever deserves to be abused. There is no reason, no cause great enough, or worry some enough to make abuse okay. None what so ever.

If your life seems to be a revolving door of the same thing again and again, let’s get to the root, the one thing that needs to be unearthed, honored, explored, dissolved and released. There is a root cause. There’s something deep, missing and it’s trying to be healed. Once its healed you will feel amazing. You will feel free. And, best thing, you will never attract that type of person or situation again.

Yep, I hear the indignation from the one of you that is screaming, angry and saying…..I didn’t attract them. You can’t blame me. To that I say, the universe is a spectacular thing, it knows what you came here to learn, to clear, to be a part of in your journey. Until you get it, clear it and are able to move on, the whole world is your stage and the universe is the director, everyone in your life is playing their part magnificently. Once its cleared, everything shifts. The world, it looks different, feels different, everyone goes their own way and you……your journey, begins another phase.

Who do you want to be? It would be an honor to speed up this process for you. Are you ready? Call me, I can help.

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Posted on June 10, 2019 June 12, 2019

Ancient Healing Wisdom

Ancient Healing wisdom has been handed down from generation to generation. This wisdom is quiet, its exciting and sometimes its scary. How many people have opted for the quick fix of Western Medicine when Energy Medicine is available? Do those people who reach for an aspirin because their body hurts even know there’s another option?

I didn’t. My mom might have at one time, I remember her telling tales of collecting clean cobwebs for a serious cut, while visiting Great Grand mom in Maine. She was young then and even when I was young they still didn’t have electricity or running water, they used an out house and survived with many of the old ways.

My mom, when I was young, was in a lot of pain. I remember once, seeing her crawl from her bed to the bathroom, her back not strong enough to allow her to walk. She most days survived with many doses of Excedrin, though out the day and Excedrin PM to drift off to sleep. When I was older, she spent days in the hospital with severe stomach bleeds and near death, would lay in the hospital trying to get stronger.

Yes, I remember the marvel of TV dinners, Extra Strength Aspirin, Wonder Bread and Cigarettes. Yes, I remember, the argument between Mom & Dad, should Mom work and bring in the extra income so they could feel financially more secure and the opposing argument of, isn’t he doing enough to support the family? That age-old question turn drama.

Is that when Western medicine became more about a quick fix and less about having a healthy, happy Life?

Are you at that point in your life? The place where the mortgage and car payment are controlling your life and the need to work. That place where your body is starting to send you messages, or perhaps like me, your body isn’t sending messages but rather the 2 x 4 is creating pain so stark you can’t ignore it.

I remember swallowing 3 extra strength Excedrin, with 2 Midol every 3 hours, just trying to get thru the work day. I was following in the steps of my parents, until someone kindly introduced me to another way.

I could barely walk, both of my parents had passed but my business was successful and I felt successful, when I wasn’t afraid, that I too, would die young and in pain every day.

As I began to learn the ways of the wisdom keepers, the Eastern Medicine philosophies and the Soul-searching depths of me, I slowly became conscious. I began to feel, see and learn alternative ways of healing, energy medicine and the medicine of real nourishment. Funny, or perhaps at the time I had no humor but, I began to heal and as I got healthier, I began to feel that much more. More awareness, more pain, more consciousness. What I mean is that, as I healed my awareness showed me that less and less could get my attention. Remember, when we are unconscious, we are ultimately ignoring all the signals, all the signs our body is trying to use to get our attention. Once awareness is present, you no longer need a 2 x 4 to get your attention. That said, there is a tipping point when your body truly begins to feel better, then, feel good and one day you catch yourself laughing, just for the joy of it.

Those days of healing and learning what my body needed to heal and then to thrive was such a blessing and sometimes yes, frustrating as well.

My excitement was palpable. I wanted to share everything with everyone, but I didn’t even have the vocabulary.

Days turned to months and months to years. I went from patient, to student and then to practitioner. The excitement continued to be almost overwhelming, the miracles were common weekly or monthly moments being witnessed. I was surrounding myself with people who knew so much more than I, but, still my excitement was so strong I wanted the soap box to be strapped to my feet so I could stay standing, stay shouting to all, to anyone who would listen and those that would let me practice, Oh My God, I was in heaven. I would go to that place, that meditative state where everything falls away and I could only feel the person on the treatment table. I dissolved, my eyes closed and I was on the surface, I was inside, I could hear and feel and see. My client sometimes aware, sometimes not, would always have a feeling of getting lighter, better, less pain and I wanted to do it again and again.

But, once again, I remembered, Ancient Wisdom must be passed down, I had to listen. Continue to listen, continue to absorb the wisdom, the knowledge.

Yes, I was a natural, each class a reminder of the natural wisdom within, but still I had to listen. I wanted to absorb more, learn more, teach what I’d learned and absorb all I could from those who knew more.

I traveled to the classes, I searched for the teachers, I paid a lot to learn, my now ex- was not happy at the cost of my learning or the time I took, being away from my business to continue learning. I continue to joke that I could have a PHD if you could buy one, the money I spent to learn being a Lot.

Then as I began to share all that I’d learned, as I began Spirit of the Lotus and my healing practice, my senses continued to expand. The shamanism expanded my senses even further. Soul Coaching® and Past Life Journey® and again with Advanced really expanded my senses until my intuitive senses were expanding. However, in the very beginning, it was not easy to know the difference between Good Energies such as Angels verses lower energies of those stuck in this plane and not so helpful, sometimes even just disruptive or trickster energies here to take your attention off the really deep wisdom. However, with years of practice and safe places to talk and learn, I was truly able to hone my intuitive skills and let me say, I continue to really thrive on learning, so I get upset when disruptive energies try to interrupt the Wisdom Keepers who are trying to teach. I have a deep respect for those that have been doing and using this energy and helping teach for more than my 15-18 years. I will be there with my sage and clearing tools, ready to learn, ready to demand the disruptive energies find their way home. And I will continue to teach and help people heal, one on one or in groups. AHo.

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