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Becoming More Positive

Everyday I hear and see people who are desperately trying to be much more positive, in their lives, in relationship, at work and at school. What makes this pattern so difficult to shift? Why is it so easy to be negative?

As a healer, mentor and coach I know that a life lived with positive dialog is much more enjoyable to living with negative self talk….but why? When we are negative, say, we respond in a conversation with a negative response, eye roll or snide remark, our brain reacts. Specifically the amygdala tells our adrenals to create Cordisol, the hormone of stress and fear. Cordisol is linked to everything from fat to memory loss, it actually breaks down muscle and bone. It’s extremely important when there’s an emergency, house on fire, car accident, being chased by a man eating tiger, you get the idea. But, when it is a daily dose of Cordisol because of emotional abuse internally or externally driven, then it’s dangerous.

Cordisol is a stimulant and as such it’s extremely addictive. When the stress is from brow beating a spouse or co-worker it may cause enough pleasure to become addictive. To the abused it causes pain, fear and when repeated again and again the reaction producing the Cordisol is dangerous to the health. To the abuser the reaction causes the production of Cordisol, because of feeling threatened, fearful or stress.

Did you know that negative relationships have a much higher risk of cardiac issues. Think about this whole thing for a moment. If you’re in a relationship that is unhappy and the responses are negative. The body is producing Cordisol, the hormone that can destroy muscle, what is the most important muscle? The heart. Without a healthy heart nothing functions optimally.

That said, where there is Cordisol there are no Endorphins.

Endorphins are healthy hormones that can help heal the body. Endorphins are the rush from our senses such as during or after heavy exercise, and passionate sex.

It’s my personal opinion that great sex is more fun than landing the perfect snide comeback.

Robin is the founder of Spirit of the Lotus, a healer, Shaman and medical intuitive. For more information or to book an appointment, call 860-709-3903


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Healing Me with Time

I have been struggling with my morning routine, especially since the true on set of cold winter weather. I find myself wanting to leisurely enjoy my morning moments in the warmth of my blankets, not wanting to place my feet on the floor of my cold room. My room 62 degrees, preferring blankets to warm air, preferring blankets to the cost of oil, perhaps more like it. Perhaps loving the blankets because if I get up, my day has begun as well as the excuses I create for not doing, doing what?

How do I bring back the routine of yoga? How do I substitute my distractions with the routines that will nourish my soul? Can I put down my cell phone? Can I delay my coffee or even exchange it for water?

I gave myself a year….

I said to me…. Robin, you deserve the time to rest, to rejuvenate, to find out who you are.

Who am I? Who am I now that I am not the mother of a young child? Who am I now that I am not a wife? Who am I now that I am ? Who am I over 50? Who am I, now that I do not own the first business that I created? Who am I in the eyes of those who see me? Who am I now that I admit that I am a healer, if only part time while I explore? Who am I now, that I can be anything I choose?

It’s been 8 months, since my obligations of work were no longer. Four years since I decided to be single. I have witnessed within me transformations that are minor and those that are extreme. I have tried to continue moving and working and filling every moment in an effort to avoid feeling. This seemed to work until I became sick. Sick enough that I had to stop moving, I had to stop working and filling my moments, enough so that I could feel. Oh dear God, I have to admit that feeling is one of the scariest things I have been forced to do for myself. How is it I can feel the pain of others and use it to help them heal, in yet, feeling my own pain was overwhelming? I know intellectually and thru my healing arts that there can be a payoff for illness. My payoff was forced by the universe to become intimately aware of me. I felt fear that I never knew could over take me so completely. I have felt grief so deeply I wondered if it would stop. I felt alone. I felt abandoned. I was and sometimes still am afraid.

I wanted desperately to have a relationship. The perfect love life to sustain and combat the fear. I believe deep down, somewhere I had convinced myself that if someone wanted me, accepted me, held me and told me everything would be perfect, that I would know that everything I did, the choices I made would be the right ones. They would ultimately prove that I was right.

I was lucky, of course the verdict is still out, I did not get that perfect relationship. I did not get swept off my feet and rescued or re-assured. What I got was time. What I received was the gift of being alone, even though forced, alone enough so that today I see….hey, I’m enjoying this moment. I am enjoying choosing exactly what I want to do or to do nothing.

I began seeing this pattern a few months ago. I wondered to myself and out loud to a few dear friends….is it possible the universe if forcing me to take the time? Then as I spoke to a dear friend just a day or two ago I caught myself saying….If I had jumped into a relationship earlier it would have been out of fear….fear of being alone more than out of love. But now, now that I am beginning to see me and learn the “who is Robin” answers. Now I know that I will be going into a relationship whole, going into it from a place of love rather than need. And that is huge…..

Oh, don’t worry, I know I still have a lot to learn…. I’m not taking that leap, yet. Oh lord, but at some point I pray the universe deems me ready and gives me that opportunity.

Hugs!!

Robin is the founder of Spirit of the Lotus, she works with individuals as a Shaman, a healer and a medical intuitive as well as a Reiki Master Teacher and Soul Coach(R) just to mention a few of her credentials.

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Reminded by the Wind

It’s Saturday morning and the wind sounds as though it will blow my home off it’s foundation. As I listen, I ask for gentleness from the power of the wind, I ask for strength against the buffering upon the walls and windows but most of all I ask for kindness and a warm heart felt prayer for everyone who is homeless and cold.

I am reminded by the sound of the wind that I am safe. I am grateful that I have a home and the means to afford it. I have a room full of lush green plants and a warm cup of coffee sweetened with honey. I am home. Thank you God.

I am reminded by the wind, that I am so very fortunate to have a safe place. A place to work, a place to create and a place to love and the precious moments to appreciate it. The precious time to be grateful for my freedom. The little things, that I could just take for granted, the phone call, the warmth of a shower, the watering of my plants. One of my clients noted that I had so many new trees as she removed her coat. I looked at them and said yes….I bought several for $2 and $4 each after the Christmas Holiday, excited that just a few days earlier they were priced at $20 and sold as gifts for Christmas. Yes, they were perfect to add to my collection of green in the sunshine filled room. My sanctuary in the wind.

What are you grateful for? Do you have the time, to take stock of all your fortunate to have? Do you breath it in or just work until you’re so drained you wonder why? Have you created the sanctuary that you deserve? Are you living the life you could only imagine? How could it be improved?

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The Courage to Allow Our Voice.

The very act of allowing my voice took and continues to take courage. It’s been a journey for me, that has brought me to a whole new way of being. I always thought I was bold and outspoken. I am in business, but I really had to step out of my comfort zone. Many of my friends and acquaintances will snort and have quite a laugh at this because they may not see this part of me and if I played my part well, they wouldn’t know.
How many ways do we play our parts? How many ways do we play small?
I fondly remember being very young and having had my license for perhaps a year or two, singing at the top of my voice with my girlfriend Sue, laughing and enjoying the freedom of our singing, sometimes, just yelling at the top of our lungs to release our tension, anger and disappointment. Later I remember singing in the car with my Son Justin as a baby, then every other weekend going to Sea Cadet’s, Justin and his friend Nick. I not so fondly remember starting to sing in the car with my now ex who, without qualm, told me to stop, my voice sucked and hurt his ears. I did stop, my pleasure drained, and the worst part was, I believed him, for a very long time.
Several years ago, I expanded my meditation practice. I dedicated an hour or so to journaling, then meditating. At times I found myself needing to cry, sometimes wale. I was home and alone, so, I was free to allow. With time I began to chant, OM, and sing. It was freeing and sometimes funny. Then I took a Channeling Class at Ms. Martha’s and learned the incredible feeling of unconditional love from channeling.
This feeling and safe circle allowed me to us my voice. My channeling came in with laughter, rip roaring, pee your pants laughter, sometimes so much laughter that the entire room would begin to laugh. At first, I felt embarrassment, not from those around me, but from my own internal judgement. “Will they think I’m crazy?” “What will they think?” “Everyone else, begins to channel calmly without laughter or effort, why can’t I be normal?” It really didn’t matter because my own thoughts were insecure enough. But, I kept at it, and the group encouraged me and asked me to continue so, I did. I loved it and to this day, channeling is one of my favorite things to do.
I look back now and think, what came first? Were the sounds that came during meditation the opening? Did the channeling encourage me to continue to develop my sound healing, singing, toning?
Then I took a class called, Holographic Sound Healing by Paul Hubbard where I was encouraged again to use my voice and crystal bowls, this time for sound healing, shifting frequencies in the body. It was so much fun and extremely effective.
As I got more and more courage to share my voice, my sound, I began to share at my healing circles. The interesting part is that not all the sounds are pleasant, and at times there is a sound that my voice can’t quite reach, but every time, it is what I am guided by spirit to reach for the client or friend.
This journey has been fun, although sometimes quite overwhelming. I have friends who encourage me, and people who try to calm me down. I have to admit, in the beginning, I’d begin to chant, close my eyes and wonder, how many people will still be there when I open them again. I really have to laugh, because every time I feel the need to chant and sing so deeply, it pushes past the fear and self-consciousness, and every time I am amazed when people say they truly enjoyed it, or the tears I see in their eyes is from an internal shift, a healing of something quite deep.
I tell you all this not as a way to toot my own horn, but, to encourage you as well. My Monday Night Healing Circle is now as much about sound as Reiki & other healing modalities, and messages and practice. I want to encourage as many people as I can to reach deep in the depths of their being and allow their voice. Speak your truth. Live life to the fullest, truly.
By the way, several years after that “don’t sing” incident, my ex heard me sing and commented favorably on it. I got up the guts to ask, “why did you so hatefully tell me my voice sucked?” and he said, “you know when you feel really bad? And someone near you is really happy?” I said, Yes. He said, “I just couldn’t bear to see you so happy when I was so unhappy.” I thought to myself, damn, I took it to heart and stopped singing anywhere and everywhere someone might hear. What a shame.
My questions to you are:
How can you us your voice even more?
How are you playing small?
If you were courageous, what would you do?

Be well, Hugs
Robin

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