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Hindsight the Greatest Gift

How many times can you look back and see that some of your greatest gifts were found after a time of struggle? We find a mentor, a teacher or a way of coping that can turn us in a direction that becomes a life calling, a lifting of our soul in ways we could have never imagined.

For me personally it was my brokenness. The pain my body felt became the impetus to learning. I searched for a remedy for the pain. The medical model of doctors and X rays and medication, thank god, could not find a solution to the pain I was feeling, so I continued to look, to complain, to reach out for help and a solution.

I was willing to try just about anything…. Like many of my clients, I found myself doubting myself, doubting the need to feel better, hearing again and again, its just the aging process get used to it. We (the doctor) do not see anything of concern, among some of the nicer ways of turning away a patient.

I remember the person I worked with said “its a good thing I worked with you before I looked at the X rays and test results.” Having worked with you I could see there was an issue, a physical issue that could not be faked, even though I can not see proof of the damage with the tests. The tests look fine. But….having worked with you, I can see it, feel it and will work to heal it.

My symptom was a problem and pain when walking, and movement was restricted, to the point that I would often cry out in pain with the simplest of motion. It was embarrassing, it even became an excuse to put distance in my relationship, from both sides. What I found though was almost unbelievable. My range of motion issue, my lack of movement, my pain, was not “just” physical, it was also emotional. All this was compounded by recent loses of my mom to cancer and my dad two years later to a severe fall after surviving Cancer 18 years prior, to a step mother who died one year later because after being told she would die if she began smoking again….picked up a cigarette and didn’t stop smoking until she was no longer with us. Fear and sadness filled my being even as I filled my heart with love of my son, love of the family still with me, love and encouragement of friends. Even a thriving business couldn’t obliterate the feelings of loss, the feelings of fear, afraid of walking the same path.

But, thankfully, I took the time for me. I took the time and spent the money to heal even when I could not see the results, yet.

Today, I can and do freely admit out loud many times a week, perhaps a day somedays, that the gift of that pain, that suffering and disappointment was to introduce me to a healing modality that I continue to use on a daily basis, for myself and for my clients. That search, brought me learning. That search opened doors to teachers, modalities and remembrance of skills within yet uncovered. In hindsight, I can see without the pain I would never have found my gift as a healer, intuitive and teacher.

Robin is the founder of Spirit of the Lotus. She is a hands on healer, medical intuitive, Shaman, Medium and Spiritually Guided Coach as well as being an Advanced Soul Coach(R), Adv. Past Life Coach(R) & Holographic Sound Healer. 00

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Subconscious Communication

When I work with a client I do a number of diagnostics. I ask the client, what is the main objective to your coming to me for treatment? There may be one specific issue, or there could be several. Perhaps the issue is back pain, a diagnosed heart issue, digestive problems or a host of other issues. On the surface it most often appears to be physical, sometimes the client has some knowledge of emotional issues, stress, trauma and deeper issues that may or may not make sense to connect. To me, its really rare if physical issues are not an outward symptom of an emotional issue.

I then do a physical diagnostic to see where the body sends me.

Once I feel the need to amp up the energy work, I go deeper into myself, a type of meditative state, so quiet that I can ask the body, what do you need? Subconsciously I will ask, when did this issue begin? I will age it, determine a who or what, and whether or not the client needs to know. If they do not need to know, I will instruct the body to release or dissolve the blockage and move on. If they do need to know, I will bring it to their attention and begin to work with the client to make sense of it, reframe it, or sometimes even just becoming aware of it is enough.

Unfinished business effects us daily, in our lives, some is unfinished work from today, some is from when you were 5, 10 or even 45, it varies from client to client. But, what I know for sure, is that everyone has had trauma. They have had things that have happened that they could not understand, did not deal with and stuffed or ignored. Unfinished business has a tendency to find ways to manifest issues to bring it up in an effort to let it go.

Do you have unfinished business?

Did you have a trauma, so hurtful that you ate a box of ice cream rather than face it head on?

Perhaps together we can make sense of old issues, creating current pain and suffering.


Robin is the founder of Spirit of the Lotus. She is a hands on healer, medical intuitive, Shaman, Medium and Spiritually Guided Coach as well as being an Advanced Soul Coach(R), Adv. Past Life Coach(R) & Holographic Sound Healer.

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Conflict & Chaos

I notice that people in general are extremely aware of everything they do not like, from how to fold the laundry to how we raise our children. It seems we are so focused on what we want made better, that we forget to notice all the things that make our lives amazing. We pick one thing as proof of lack and the focus becomes laser accurate, the grade to our happiness.

The problem with proving our lack or inaccuracy of thought is being in a space of inadequacy. However, rather than perpetuate growth and learning, it pushes us away. Like the parent who’s child gets a B in a difficult class, the parent, rather than congratulating, scolds the child for the lack of an A. How does that child feel? Encouraged? Or Shamed?

Why do so many believe that a relationship can get even better if we constantly point out each others faults? Constantly demanding the other meld to a required behavior rather than appreciating the effort?

Pointing out someone’s faults creates an energy that is weak and debilitating. Appreciation of our strengths and verbally acknowledging our courage enhances our energy and creates room for expansion.

Relationships can be enhanced with the continued learning of communication skills. For example my favorite is: I feel ….. when I hear …. rather than the common, You make me…. . or I feel ….. when I see this behavior…… and then there is a mirroring back of the words so that the person knows you’ve actually heard what they’ve said. Accusations put the accused into a space of needing to justify, prove or flee. If there is a behavior that you really want to see, I’d encourage a kindly worded suggestion with clear instruction. Then when your request is taken and used a healthy dose of gratitude will only encourage this to continue.

We all have habits and ways of living that we’ve had our entire life. Some learned from the homes of our youth, others found as we grew. Some of our current habits are even those that we began in rebellion of the strict requirements of our youth. Many we do without thought and a suggestion to make our tasks easier is welcome. A demand with degrading comment of slovenly behavior, not so much….

One of the greatest exercises I was tasked to take, was of daily gratitude. Then more specifically, to find specific things, ways, habits, behaviors that I appreciated in a friend or family member. This, I admit, was not as easy as I thought it should be. I too, was and sometimes continue to be focused on what I don’t like rather than what I do like. Shifting to a higher vibration, a higher consciousness does the heart and relationship good….

Think about it, will you?

Hugs

Robin is the founder of Spirit of the Lotus. She is a hands on healer, medical intuitive, Shaman, Medium and Spiritually Guided Coach as well as being an Advanced Soul Coach(R), Adv. Past Life Coach(R) & Holographic Sound Healer.

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Becoming More Positive

Everyday I hear and see people who are desperately trying to be much more positive, in their lives, in relationship, at work and at school. What makes this pattern so difficult to shift? Why is it so easy to be negative?

As a healer, mentor and coach I know that a life lived with positive dialog is much more enjoyable to living with negative self talk….but why? When we are negative, say, we respond in a conversation with a negative response, eye roll or snide remark, our brain reacts. Specifically the amygdala tells our adrenals to create Cortisol, the hormone of stress and fear. Cortisol is linked to everything from fat to memory loss, it actually breaks down muscle and bone. It’s extremely important when there’s an emergency, house on fire, car accident, being chased by a man eating tiger, you get the idea. But, when it is a daily dose of Cortisol because of emotional abuse internally or externally driven, then it’s dangerous.

Cortisol is a stimulant and as such it’s extremely addictive. When the stress is from brow beating a spouse or co-worker it may cause enough pleasure to become addictive. To the abused it causes pain, fear and when repeated again and again the reaction producing the Cortisol is dangerous to the health. To the abuser the reaction causes the production of Cortisol, because of feeling threatened, fearful or stress. Did you know that negative relationships have a much higher risk of cardiac issues. Think about this whole thing for a moment. If you’re in a relationship that is unhappy and the responses are negative. The body is producing Cortisol, the hormone that can destroy muscle, what is the most important muscle? The heart. Without a healthy heart nothing functions optimally.

That said, where there is Cortisol there are no Endorphins.

Endorphins are healthy hormones that can help heal the body. Endorphins are the rush from our senses such as during or after heavy exercise, and passionate sex.

It’s my personal opinion that great sex is more fun than landing the perfect snide comeback.

Robin is the founder of Spirit of the Lotus, a healer, Shaman and medical intuitive. For more information or to book an appointment, call 860-709-3903


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Healing Me with Time

I have been struggling with my morning routine, especially since the true on set of cold winter weather. I find myself wanting to leisurely enjoy my morning moments in the warmth of my blankets, not wanting to place my feet on the floor of my cold room. My room 62 degrees, preferring blankets to warm air, preferring blankets to the cost of oil, perhaps more like it. Perhaps loving the blankets because if I get up, my day has begun as well as the excuses I create for not doing, doing what?

How do I bring back the routine of yoga? How do I substitute my distractions with the routines that will nourish my soul? Can I put down my cell phone? Can I delay my coffee or even exchange it for water?

I gave myself a year….

I said to me…. Robin, you deserve the time to rest, to rejuvenate, to find out who you are.

Who am I? Who am I now that I am not the mother of a young child? Who am I now that I am not a wife? Who am I now that I am ? Who am I over 50? Who am I, now that I do not own the first business that I created? Who am I in the eyes of those who see me? Who am I now that I admit that I am a healer, if only part time while I explore? Who am I now, that I can be anything I choose?

It’s been 8 months, since my obligations of work were no longer. Four years since I decided to be single. I have witnessed within me transformations that are minor and those that are extreme. I have tried to continue moving and working and filling every moment in an effort to avoid feeling. This seemed to work until I became sick. Sick enough that I had to stop moving, I had to stop working and filling my moments, enough so that I could feel. Oh dear God, I have to admit that feeling is one of the scariest things I have been forced to do for myself. How is it I can feel the pain of others and use it to help them heal, in yet, feeling my own pain was overwhelming? I know intellectually and thru my healing arts that there can be a payoff for illness. My payoff was forced by the universe to become intimately aware of me. I felt fear that I never knew could over take me so completely. I have felt grief so deeply I wondered if it would stop. I felt alone. I felt abandoned. I was and sometimes still am afraid.

I wanted desperately to have a relationship. The perfect love life to sustain and combat the fear. I believe deep down, somewhere I had convinced myself that if someone wanted me, accepted me, held me and told me everything would be perfect, that I would know that everything I did, the choices I made would be the right ones. They would ultimately prove that I was right.

I was lucky, of course the verdict is still out, I did not get that perfect relationship. I did not get swept off my feet and rescued or re-assured. What I got was time. What I received was the gift of being alone, even though forced, alone enough so that today I see….hey, I’m enjoying this moment. I am enjoying choosing exactly what I want to do or to do nothing.

I began seeing this pattern a few months ago. I wondered to myself and out loud to a few dear friends….is it possible the universe if forcing me to take the time? Then as I spoke to a dear friend just a day or two ago I caught myself saying….If I had jumped into a relationship earlier it would have been out of fear….fear of being alone more than out of love. But now, now that I am beginning to see me and learn the “who is Robin” answers. Now I know that I will be going into a relationship whole, going into it from a place of love rather than need. And that is huge…..

Oh, don’t worry, I know I still have a lot to learn…. I’m not taking that leap, yet. Oh lord, but at some point I pray the universe deems me ready and gives me that opportunity.

Hugs!!

Robin is the founder of Spirit of the Lotus, she works with individuals as a Shaman, a healer and a medical intuitive as well as a Reiki Master Teacher and Soul Coach(R) just to mention a few of her credentials.

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Reminded by the Wind

It’s Saturday morning and the wind sounds as though it will blow my home off it’s foundation. As I listen, I ask for gentleness from the power of the wind, I ask for strength against the buffering upon the walls and windows but most of all I ask for kindness and a warm heart felt prayer for everyone who is homeless and cold.

I am reminded by the sound of the wind that I am safe. I am grateful that I have a home and the means to afford it. I have a room full of lush green plants and a warm cup of coffee sweetened with honey. I am home. Thank you God.

I am reminded by the wind, that I am so very fortunate to have a safe place. A place to work, a place to create and a place to love and the precious moments to appreciate it. The precious time to be grateful for my freedom. The little things, that I could just take for granted, the phone call, the warmth of a shower, the watering of my plants. One of my clients noted that I had so many new trees as she removed her coat. I looked at them and said yes….I bought several for $2 and $4 each after the Christmas Holiday, excited that just a few days earlier they were priced at $20 and sold as gifts for Christmas. Yes, they were perfect to add to my collection of green in the sunshine filled room. My sanctuary in the wind.

What are you grateful for? Do you have the time, to take stock of all your fortunate to have? Do you breath it in or just work until you’re so drained you wonder why? Have you created the sanctuary that you deserve? Are you living the life you could only imagine? How could it be improved?

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The Courage to Allow Our Voice.

The very act of allowing my voice took and continues to take courage. It’s been a journey for me, that has brought me to a whole new way of being. I always thought I was bold and outspoken. I am in business, but I really had to step out of my comfort zone. Many of my friends and acquaintances will snort and have quite a laugh at this because they may not see this part of me and if I played my part well, they wouldn’t know.
How many ways do we play our parts? How many ways do we play small?
I fondly remember being very young and having had my license for perhaps a year or two, singing at the top of my voice with my girlfriend Sue, laughing and enjoying the freedom of our singing, sometimes, just yelling at the top of our lungs to release our tension, anger and disappointment. Later I remember singing in the car with my Son Justin as a baby, then every other weekend going to Sea Cadet’s, Justin and his friend Nick. I not so fondly remember starting to sing in the car with my now ex who, without qualm, told me to stop, my voice sucked and hurt his ears. I did stop, my pleasure drained, and the worst part was, I believed him, for a very long time.
Several years ago, I expanded my meditation practice. I dedicated an hour or so to journaling, then meditating. At times I found myself needing to cry, sometimes wale. I was home and alone, so, I was free to allow. With time I began to chant, OM, and sing. It was freeing and sometimes funny. Then I took a Channeling Class at Ms. Martha’s and learned the incredible feeling of unconditional love from channeling.
This feeling and safe circle allowed me to us my voice. My channeling came in with laughter, rip roaring, pee your pants laughter, sometimes so much laughter that the entire room would begin to laugh. At first, I felt embarrassment, not from those around me, but from my own internal judgement. “Will they think I’m crazy?” “What will they think?” “Everyone else, begins to channel calmly without laughter or effort, why can’t I be normal?” It really didn’t matter because my own thoughts were insecure enough. But, I kept at it, and the group encouraged me and asked me to continue so, I did. I loved it and to this day, channeling is one of my favorite things to do.
I look back now and think, what came first? Were the sounds that came during meditation the opening? Did the channeling encourage me to continue to develop my sound healing, singing, toning?
Then I took a class called, Holographic Sound Healing by Paul Hubbard where I was encouraged again to use my voice and crystal bowls, this time for sound healing, shifting frequencies in the body. It was so much fun and extremely effective.
As I got more and more courage to share my voice, my sound, I began to share at my healing circles. The interesting part is that not all the sounds are pleasant, and at times there is a sound that my voice can’t quite reach, but every time, it is what I am guided by spirit to reach for the client or friend.
This journey has been fun, although sometimes quite overwhelming. I have friends who encourage me, and people who try to calm me down. I have to admit, in the beginning, I’d begin to chant, close my eyes and wonder, how many people will still be there when I open them again. I really have to laugh, because every time I feel the need to chant and sing so deeply, it pushes past the fear and self-consciousness, and every time I am amazed when people say they truly enjoyed it, or the tears I see in their eyes is from an internal shift, a healing of something quite deep.
I tell you all this not as a way to toot my own horn, but, to encourage you as well. My Monday Night Healing Circle is now as much about sound as Reiki & other healing modalities, and messages and practice. I want to encourage as many people as I can to reach deep in the depths of their being and allow their voice. Speak your truth. Live life to the fullest, truly.
By the way, several years after that “don’t sing” incident, my ex heard me sing and commented favorably on it. I got up the guts to ask, “why did you so hatefully tell me my voice sucked?” and he said, “you know when you feel really bad? And someone near you is really happy?” I said, Yes. He said, “I just couldn’t bear to see you so happy when I was so unhappy.” I thought to myself, damn, I took it to heart and stopped singing anywhere and everywhere someone might hear. What a shame.
My questions to you are:
How can you use your voice even more?
How are you playing small?
If you were courageous, what would you do?

Be well, Hugs
Robin

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Emotions and How They Effect Our Day to Day Behavior

How do our emotions effect our day to day lives? As I am typing I am remembering how I felt this morning as I woke from my sleep. The sleep that is supposed to refresh, heal and provide learning in our dream state. This morning I woke with my head in so much pain that I could not function, barely open my eyes. I remained in bed for a while with no success of feeling better. I got up, I drank water, I did everything I could think to reduce the pain. I then called in sick, got on my treatment table with the Bio-Mat cranked up, slept for 2.5 hours and woke again, thinking oh, that helped, until I moved.

I reached out for distance healing help. That helped some, but not a lot. I began to blame my added vegetable in take from my new health regiment. I blamed my lack of coffee.

I began a conversation with a friend, who mentioned letting go of some current emotional issues…..and I began to cry. Not the first time, I had this little melt down a few days ago and I thought…then, that cry was enough. But, honestly, I quickly changed the subject and allowed my mind the gift of changing my thoughts, changing my mind to a more positive subject. In effect, burying my thoughts to avoid them.

Isn’t that what we are taught? “Stop crying, or I will give you something to cry about.” “Please don’t cry” or “Why are you getting so emotional?” even, “just think of something positive, don’t focus on the negative.” All of those add to our need to stuff the negative emotions and pretend we are strong. Pretend we are not truly effected by them.

What are the many ways that we “Change our Mind”? My personal favorite is food, even coffee, or work, even being strong for someone else works for me at times.

But, in the last few years I have found it more and more difficult to hold my emotions in check. I find my addictions of choice to work only just so much. I now look at the bag of chips and some times think…..okay, what’s triggering you now? What am I trying to avoid? What am I thinking that “feels bad or wrong”? Other times I just inhale the chips and totally allow myself to do what I do, my habit, my way of coping.

Please know, I am not saying we should be lost in our melancholy, our negative thoughts to the detriment of our ability to live freely and gracefully. I’m speaking in terms of just avoiding all negative thought and completely stuffing our emotions. This “stuffing” can virtually disable living freely and gracefully as well. Extremes are never healthy.

But, what if little by little we learn to allow our thoughts freedom to be witnessed, rather than dis-regarded?

Who can you trust, if you can not trust your own thoughts and feelings?

Funny, I actually find myself struggling with this one. Most of my life I have looked to others for their sage advise. I have looked to Bankers, Investors, Doctors, Lawyers, as being “smarter”, they are the “experts”, are they not? I can tell you now that rarely are they as smart as “my gut” feels. But, it took me most, if not all of my life to understand and admit that, okay, I still struggle with it….

I am so grateful that I have a circle of healers, many helped me begin my journey of healing and learning to help others heal. They also do hands on healing, along with subconscious communication which allows me to peel back the layers of emotions, truths, buried beneath layers of coping skills, addictions and pretending. Each day it becomes easier and easier to see who I am, truly, to become more of who I am, honestly and I pray with grace. If each day I can admit to myself and to those around me what I want for myself, even admitting that I can and will make choices that may be more around other peoples approval than my true goals, than each day I know it will get easier.

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Channeling

I found this lovely definition online: Channeling is a natural form of communication between humans and angelic beings, nature spirits, non-physical entities, or even animals and pets. A channeler is very similar to a language translator or interpreter. They allow themselves to sense the non-verbal communication from another being and then translate it into human words.

Channelers, are sometimes thought of as psychic mediums, receiving messages from “spirit guides,” friendly spirits who give them knowledge and help them on their spiritual journeys. Channeling is the belief that a person’s body is being shared by spirit for the purpose of imparting wisdom. It’s been my experience that messages being given by good channels are always up lifting, encouraging, loving and compassionate. Spirit, high level Spirit Guides will never feel heavy or bring fear. If you ever receive a channeled message that demands, accuses or feels heavy, that message is being given thru a person who’s filter is still heavy with fear and their own issues.

I have a wonderful circle of Spiritually Enlightened friends that love to learn and teach. They and now I as well, take joy in creating a sacred, safe place to learn, to ask, to teach and to figure out just how big our world really is. Miracles are only miracles until they become common place.

The first time I was able to channel, allow spirit to show me their energy, when they let me feel their presence, it was almost overwhelming….the amount of love that they emanate is incredible. I thought I knew what unconditional love felt like, but, I was wrong. The love I felt was so light and created such joy within me I can not find the words to adequately describe it. To some its so beautiful it brings tears of joy.

If you’d like to join us for a channeling session, or if you have questions, please feel free to call me. Robin 860-709-3903

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7 Raven’s a Hawk and a Cardinal

7 Raven’s, a Hawk and a Cardinal, sounds like the start of a bad joke doesn’t it. Well as I sat deep in meditation Sunday morning, I was brought out by such a racket. All seven of the local raven’s were creating such a stir, a racket so loud that I had to get up and see what was disturbing them so much. As I watched, they appeared to be having fun, no cat in sight….. Then a beautiful Red Shouldered Hawk glided in and sat right in the middle of the 7. They continued for a moment, then all sat, quietly, looked my way, as if to say….yep, go get your binoculars, there is something to see here. I did. I spent moments in complete awe of such beautiful birds, so large, looking soft, then, a streak of red. I followed the direction it took me and saw the most brilliantly colored Cardinal, almost orange it was so bright. What a gift. I finished my meditation while watching these incredible birds.