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Hindsight the Greatest Gift

How many times can you look back and see that some of your greatest gifts were found after a time of struggle? We find a mentor, a teacher or a way of coping that can turn us in a direction that becomes a life calling, a lifting of our soul in ways we could have never imagined.

For me personally it was my brokenness. The pain my body felt became the impetus to learning. I searched for a remedy for the pain. The medical model of doctors and X rays and medication, thank god, could not find a solution to the pain I was feeling, so I continued to look, to complain, to reach out for help and a solution.

I was willing to try just about anything…. Like many of my clients, I found myself doubting myself, doubting the need to feel better, hearing again and again, its just the aging process get used to it. We (the doctor) do not see anything of concern, among some of the nicer ways of turning away a patient.

I remember the person I worked with said “its a good thing I worked with you before I looked at the X rays and test results.” Having worked with you I could see there was an issue, a physical issue that could not be faked, even though I can not see proof of the damage with the tests. The tests look fine. But….having worked with you, I can see it, feel it and will work to heal it.

My symptom was a problem and pain when walking, and movement was restricted, to the point that I would often cry out in pain with the simplest of motion. It was embarrassing, it even became an excuse to put distance in my relationship, from both sides. What I found though was almost unbelievable. My range of motion issue, my lack of movement, my pain, was not “just” physical, it was also emotional. All this was compounded by recent loses of my mom to cancer and my dad two years later to a severe fall after surviving Cancer 18 years prior, to a step mother who died one year later because after being told she would die if she began smoking again….picked up a cigarette and didn’t stop smoking until she was no longer with us. Fear and sadness filled my being even as I filled my heart with love of my son, love of the family still with me, love and encouragement of friends. Even a thriving business couldn’t obliterate the feelings of loss, the feelings of fear, afraid of walking the same path.

But, thankfully, I took the time for me. I took the time and spent the money to heal even when I could not see the results, yet.

Today, I can and do freely admit out loud many times a week, perhaps a day somedays, that the gift of that pain, that suffering and disappointment was to introduce me to a healing modality that I continue to use on a daily basis, for myself and for my clients. That search, brought me learning. That search opened doors to teachers, modalities and remembrance of skills within yet uncovered. In hindsight, I can see without the pain I would never have found my gift as a healer, intuitive and teacher.

Robin is the founder of Spirit of the Lotus. She is a hands on healer, medical intuitive, Shaman, Medium and Spiritually Guided Coach as well as being an Advanced Soul Coach(R), Adv. Past Life Coach(R) & Holographic Sound Healer. 00

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Conflict & Chaos

I notice that people in general are extremely aware of everything they do not like, from how to fold the laundry to how we raise our children. It seems we are so focused on what we want made better, that we forget to notice all the things that make our lives amazing. We pick one thing as proof of lack and the focus becomes laser accurate, the grade to our happiness.

The problem with proving our lack or inaccuracy of thought is being in a space of inadequacy. However, rather than perpetuate growth and learning, it pushes us away. Like the parent who’s child gets a B in a difficult class, the parent, rather than congratulating, scolds the child for the lack of an A. How does that child feel? Encouraged? Or Shamed?

Why do so many believe that a relationship can get even better if we constantly point out each others faults? Constantly demanding the other meld to a required behavior rather than appreciating the effort?

Pointing out someone’s faults creates an energy that is weak and debilitating. Appreciation of our strengths and verbally acknowledging our courage enhances our energy and creates room for expansion.

Relationships can be enhanced with the continued learning of communication skills. For example my favorite is: I feel ….. when I hear …. rather than the common, You make me…. . or I feel ….. when I see this behavior…… and then there is a mirroring back of the words so that the person knows you’ve actually heard what they’ve said. Accusations put the accused into a space of needing to justify, prove or flee. If there is a behavior that you really want to see, I’d encourage a kindly worded suggestion with clear instruction. Then when your request is taken and used a healthy dose of gratitude will only encourage this to continue.

We all have habits and ways of living that we’ve had our entire life. Some learned from the homes of our youth, others found as we grew. Some of our current habits are even those that we began in rebellion of the strict requirements of our youth. Many we do without thought and a suggestion to make our tasks easier is welcome. A demand with degrading comment of slovenly behavior, not so much….

One of the greatest exercises I was tasked to take, was of daily gratitude. Then more specifically, to find specific things, ways, habits, behaviors that I appreciated in a friend or family member. This, I admit, was not as easy as I thought it should be. I too, was and sometimes continue to be focused on what I don’t like rather than what I do like. Shifting to a higher vibration, a higher consciousness does the heart and relationship good….

Think about it, will you?

Hugs

Robin is the founder of Spirit of the Lotus. She is a hands on healer, medical intuitive, Shaman, Medium and Spiritually Guided Coach as well as being an Advanced Soul Coach(R), Adv. Past Life Coach(R) & Holographic Sound Healer.

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Healing Me with Time

I have been struggling with my morning routine, especially since the true on set of cold winter weather. I find myself wanting to leisurely enjoy my morning moments in the warmth of my blankets, not wanting to place my feet on the floor of my cold room. My room 62 degrees, preferring blankets to warm air, preferring blankets to the cost of oil, perhaps more like it. Perhaps loving the blankets because if I get up, my day has begun as well as the excuses I create for not doing, doing what?

How do I bring back the routine of yoga? How do I substitute my distractions with the routines that will nourish my soul? Can I put down my cell phone? Can I delay my coffee or even exchange it for water?

I gave myself a year….

I said to me…. Robin, you deserve the time to rest, to rejuvenate, to find out who you are.

Who am I? Who am I now that I am not the mother of a young child? Who am I now that I am not a wife? Who am I now that I am ? Who am I over 50? Who am I, now that I do not own the first business that I created? Who am I in the eyes of those who see me? Who am I now that I admit that I am a healer, if only part time while I explore? Who am I now, that I can be anything I choose?

It’s been 8 months, since my obligations of work were no longer. Four years since I decided to be single. I have witnessed within me transformations that are minor and those that are extreme. I have tried to continue moving and working and filling every moment in an effort to avoid feeling. This seemed to work until I became sick. Sick enough that I had to stop moving, I had to stop working and filling my moments, enough so that I could feel. Oh dear God, I have to admit that feeling is one of the scariest things I have been forced to do for myself. How is it I can feel the pain of others and use it to help them heal, in yet, feeling my own pain was overwhelming? I know intellectually and thru my healing arts that there can be a payoff for illness. My payoff was forced by the universe to become intimately aware of me. I felt fear that I never knew could over take me so completely. I have felt grief so deeply I wondered if it would stop. I felt alone. I felt abandoned. I was and sometimes still am afraid.

I wanted desperately to have a relationship. The perfect love life to sustain and combat the fear. I believe deep down, somewhere I had convinced myself that if someone wanted me, accepted me, held me and told me everything would be perfect, that I would know that everything I did, the choices I made would be the right ones. They would ultimately prove that I was right.

I was lucky, of course the verdict is still out, I did not get that perfect relationship. I did not get swept off my feet and rescued or re-assured. What I got was time. What I received was the gift of being alone, even though forced, alone enough so that today I see….hey, I’m enjoying this moment. I am enjoying choosing exactly what I want to do or to do nothing.

I began seeing this pattern a few months ago. I wondered to myself and out loud to a few dear friends….is it possible the universe if forcing me to take the time? Then as I spoke to a dear friend just a day or two ago I caught myself saying….If I had jumped into a relationship earlier it would have been out of fear….fear of being alone more than out of love. But now, now that I am beginning to see me and learn the “who is Robin” answers. Now I know that I will be going into a relationship whole, going into it from a place of love rather than need. And that is huge…..

Oh, don’t worry, I know I still have a lot to learn…. I’m not taking that leap, yet. Oh lord, but at some point I pray the universe deems me ready and gives me that opportunity.

Hugs!!

Robin is the founder of Spirit of the Lotus, she works with individuals as a Shaman, a healer and a medical intuitive as well as a Reiki Master Teacher and Soul Coach(R) just to mention a few of her credentials.

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Reminded by the Wind

It’s Saturday morning and the wind sounds as though it will blow my home off it’s foundation. As I listen, I ask for gentleness from the power of the wind, I ask for strength against the buffering upon the walls and windows but most of all I ask for kindness and a warm heart felt prayer for everyone who is homeless and cold.

I am reminded by the sound of the wind that I am safe. I am grateful that I have a home and the means to afford it. I have a room full of lush green plants and a warm cup of coffee sweetened with honey. I am home. Thank you God.

I am reminded by the wind, that I am so very fortunate to have a safe place. A place to work, a place to create and a place to love and the precious moments to appreciate it. The precious time to be grateful for my freedom. The little things, that I could just take for granted, the phone call, the warmth of a shower, the watering of my plants. One of my clients noted that I had so many new trees as she removed her coat. I looked at them and said yes….I bought several for $2 and $4 each after the Christmas Holiday, excited that just a few days earlier they were priced at $20 and sold as gifts for Christmas. Yes, they were perfect to add to my collection of green in the sunshine filled room. My sanctuary in the wind.

What are you grateful for? Do you have the time, to take stock of all your fortunate to have? Do you breath it in or just work until you’re so drained you wonder why? Have you created the sanctuary that you deserve? Are you living the life you could only imagine? How could it be improved?

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