How do our emotions effect our day to day lives? As I am typing I am remembering how I felt this morning as I woke from my sleep. The sleep that is supposed to refresh, heal and provide learning in our dream state. This morning I woke with my head in so much pain that I could not function, barely open my eyes. I remained in bed for a while with no success of feeling better. I got up, I drank water, I did everything I could think to reduce the pain. I then called in sick, got on my treatment table with the Bio-Mat cranked up, slept for 2.5 hours and woke again, thinking oh, that helped, until I moved.
I reached out for distance healing help. That helped some, but not a lot. I began to blame my added vegetable in take from my new health regiment. I blamed my lack of coffee.
I began a conversation with a friend, who mentioned letting go of some current emotional issues…..and I began to cry. Not the first time, I had this little melt down a few days ago and I thought…then, that cry was enough. But, honestly, I quickly changed the subject and allowed my mind the gift of changing my thoughts, changing my mind to a more positive subject. In effect, burying my thoughts to avoid them.
Isn’t that what we are taught? “Stop crying, or I will give you something to cry about.” “Please don’t cry” or “Why are you getting so emotional?” even, “just think of something positive, don’t focus on the negative.” All of those add to our need to stuff the negative emotions and pretend we are strong. Pretend we are not truly effected by them.
What are the many ways that we “Change our Mind”? My personal favorite is food, even coffee, or work, even being strong for someone else works for me at times.
But, in the last few years I have found it more and more difficult to hold my emotions in check. I find my addictions of choice to work only just so much. I now look at the bag of chips and some times think…..okay, what’s triggering you now? What am I trying to avoid? What am I thinking that “feels bad or wrong”? Other times I just inhale the chips and totally allow myself to do what I do, my habit, my way of coping.
Please know, I am not saying we should be lost in our melancholy, our negative thoughts to the detriment of our ability to live freely and gracefully. I’m speaking in terms of just avoiding all negative thought and completely stuffing our emotions. This “stuffing” can virtually disable living freely and gracefully as well. Extremes are never healthy.
But, what if little by little we learn to allow our thoughts freedom to be witnessed, rather than dis-regarded?
Who can you trust, if you can not trust your own thoughts and feelings?
Funny, I actually find myself struggling with this one. Most of my life I have looked to others for their sage advise. I have looked to Bankers, Investors, Doctors, Lawyers, as being “smarter”, they are the “experts”, are they not? I can tell you now that rarely are they as smart as “my gut” feels. But, it took me most, if not all of my life to understand and admit that, okay, I still struggle with it….
I am so grateful that I have a circle of healers, many helped me begin my journey of healing and learning to help others heal. They also do hands on healing, along with subconscious communication which allows me to peel back the layers of emotions, truths, buried beneath layers of coping skills, addictions and pretending. Each day it becomes easier and easier to see who I am, truly, to become more of who I am, honestly and I pray with grace. If each day I can admit to myself and to those around me what I want for myself, even admitting that I can and will make choices that may be more around other peoples approval than my true goals, than each day I know it will get easier.